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Saturday, 4 February 2012

A valuable life lesson: how to handle criticism


This week for me has been about criticism. As my role of critic for a local newspaper, I have dealt some criticism and received some back. So I thought I would write a blog post about how to handle the critics when they come knocking at your door. 
1.    Try to stay calm. Don’t lash out and respond in anger - it will only make you look silly. Take a deep breath and if you can, sleep on it. Things seem so much brighter once you’ve had a good night’s sleep. However tempting it may be, resist the urge to respond with aggression. Anger will get you nowhere and leaves a very bitter taste. It also has a funny way of coming back to haunt you. That person you were mean to, in a few years will turn up as the boss at your new job. You won’t remember them but they sure will remember you. That’s karma.
2.    Get some perspective. The criticism they have dealt you is not the worst thing that could have happened. Yes, your ego might be slightly bruised but hey, at least you’re not dead. Driving back from work, I passed a serious car crash and the paramedics had the person on the road and were desperately performing CPR. This kind of thing can happen in an instant and when it does you’ll be wondering why you wasted so much time on something so trivial.
3.    Try to see it from their point of view. Why have they dealt that criticism? Are they having a bad day? Are they looking to point out ways that you can improve? Are there any genuine reasons for it? If there are, then maybe you can learn from it. If it is completely unprovoked, then move on. Life’s too short.
4.    Listen to what the other person is saying. Sometimes, we are surrounded by people who - because they love us- are blind to our imperfections. So when we meet somebody who gives us their honest opinion, it rather shocks us. If you want an ego-boost then call your Mother, if you want honest feedback then ask a stranger.
5.    Don’t waste too much time on it. There are so many things in life that you could be spending your time doing. Use it as your motivation. Do you want to prove them wrong? Well, go ahead and do it. You’re proving nobody wrong by becoming bitter and twisted.  Remember, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  You are the one who chooses how you let it affect you. If you don’t like it, that’s fine – it’s just someone else with a different opinion to yours. Wouldn’t the World be a boring place if we all liked the same things?

KIMBERLEY BARBER